


Chasing After Midnight (With You)

by tasteofink



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: (very light smut idk if i'd even call it smut but for tag purposes), Fluff and Smut, M/M, Soft Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, and just a bit more, lots of kisses, neil celebrates his birthday, palmetto state foxes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-09 01:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasteofink/pseuds/tasteofink
Summary: A lot of yes's, some photos, a few games of beer pong, and one unforgettable 21st birthday.





	Chasing After Midnight (With You)

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little something I wanted to write for Neil's birthday. Written and edited by myself so any mistakes are mine and mine only!

Neil was never one to celebrate birthdays. There was no time for it to start. There was no reason to be happy about it either, not when every day was just another step closer to death and Neil was lucky to even see another year.

This year is different. Although Neil keeps it buried in the back of his head that an early expiration on behalf of the Moriyamas is entirely possible, it’s also possible that he’s got a long way to go. There’s no bloody reminder or made up birth date, no fear that next year is a definite impossibility. It’s near midnight on January 18th and Neil’s still riding the rush of a close victory, unable to sleep.

He’s waiting for Andrew to come back from doing laundry downstairs, but gets comfortable under the covers, shoves his hands underneath his pillow to prop himself up a little. He feels a crinkle underneath his fingers and sits up, pulls a folded piece of paper out from underneath the pillow.

It reads _the roof_ in scrawled letters that Neil quickly recognizes as Andrew’s handwriting. He tries to wipe what is sure to be a corny, affectionate grin off his face before he finds Andrew and barely manages.

“Got your note,” Neil says, hands stuffed into his sweatshirt and hood pulled up against the cold.

“Just in time,” Andrew answers, staring down at his phone briefly. “Happy Birthday.”

What Neil feels is more than butterflies. It’s nearly painful and Neil still doesn’t think he deserves this and sure as hell doesn’t deserve Andrew.

“Thank you.”

Andrew spreads his legs for Neil to stand in between and tilts his head back when their mouths connect. Neil curls his fingers into Andrew’s hair and keeps them close, bumps their foreheads together. Andrew bends away to grab a plastic bag that sits by his feet and pulls out a pack of birthday candles, a singular cupcake, and then grabs his lighter from his pocket. Neil shakes his head, but Andrew ignores it and lights the candle.

Neil closes his eyes and blows the candle out before the wind can. He grabs the cupcake from Andrew and takes a bite. Andrew kisses frosting from the corner of Neil’s mouth, licks off what he misses, and they kiss till the chill in the air becomes too much for either of them.

Andrew climbs into bed with Neil when they get to the room and they kiss under the covers, warm each other up with roaming hands as far as Andrew allows. As time has passed, Andrew’s grown more comfortable, more open. They share a bed nearly every night, learn new skin, kiss till Neil’s dizzy with the feeling of Andrew’s lips and his own are numb.

Andrew straddles Neil’s hips and brings Neil’s hands to his mouth. He strokes his finger over the fox paw tattoo that covers up what was an especially noticeable scar on Neil’s finger. It should have hurt like hell getting it, but Neil’s handled infinitely worse pain. Andrew kisses it now, then moves to Neil’s palm, his wrist, finds his way back to Neil’s mouth eventually.

Neil holds Andrew by his hips and his grip tightens when Andrew’s tongue dips out against his neck. Neil slides careful hands underneath Andrew’s shirt and feels his muscles tighten and release, like Andrew has to remind his body this is ok.

“Ok?”

“Yes,” Andrew says, his answer tangible on Neil’s mouth.

Neil answers with a kiss, loosens his grip on Andrew’s sides to roam over his warm skin. Neil remembers a conversation between the two of them when this thing between them first started, before they could comfortably refer to each other as boyfriends. He’d offered to draw a map on Andrew to show where he could and couldn’t touch. The former has grown to be more widespread than the latter, but there are still hard lines drawn.

Neil uses his fingers to draw maps now, absent minded lines that dip and turn where he pleases. Neil gives in to Andrew’s touch, comes apart underneath him and Andrew takes his sweet time, looks up at Neil from hooded eyes as he works his way down and then back up.

When they grow too tired and their kisses become lazier, Neil smiles into one, lets his lips catch on Andrew’s for a second before he breaks it. 

“You’re sleepy.”

Andrew shrugs and leans down for another kiss. They separate briefly to adjust themselves under the blankets and Neil makes himself comfortable with his head on Andrew’s chest. He falls asleep to the beat of Andrew’s heart against his cheek and Andrew’s fingers carding through his hair.

~

The two of them sleep in passed noon. Neil wakes up in a dreamy haze and smiles tiredly to himself at Andrew who comes to at the same time.

“Go back to sleep,” Andrew says, voice gruff with sleep.

“It’s almost 1.”

“I didn’t ask.”

Neil smirks and settles down again, happy to stay in bed a little longer. Andrew keeps his eyes shut like he’s asleep, but links his fingers with Neil’s and pulls them apart in a repeated pattern. Neil tucks his head underneath Andrew’s chin and opens his eyes, stares out the window and then at their hands. 

“Two years ago I didn’t think I’d even see twenty-one.”

Andrew doesn’t say anything, but his motion pauses for a moment before he continues.

“Thanks for giving me something to believe in,” Neil says quietly.

“Don’t say things like that.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised that two years into this, you’re still like this.”

“There is no this.”

“Andrew.”

“It was a joke.”

“Hilarious.”

Andrew pulls Neil’s hand to his mouth and kisses the tattoo on his finger in a wordless apology. When Neil sighs, his body relaxes further and presses closer to Andrew.

“I did not save you,” Andrew explains after a few beats of silence.

“You gave me something to fight for.”

It was enough. Neil doesn’t say it, but Andrew merely being in his life was so much more than enough. Time and time again Andrew pushed Neil. Neil never lived before Palmetto State, he only survived. There was nothing but running, his mother, and the people they were running from, and there was nothing to live for. 

Andrew doesn’t say anything now. Sometimes Neil actually misses when Andrew would announce his percentages because at least it was something. There are no more mentions of hating Neil or wanting to kill him, but all that’s taken those comments places is silence for the most part.

Andrew shifts underneath Neil and keeps their hands tightly clasped. They don’t bother to get up for a while and when they do, Andrew’s reluctant to let go. Neil’s welcomed into the living room with a hug from Nicky and birthday wishes from both he and Kevin.

“Have you decided where you want to go for your birthday dinner yet?”

Neil shakes his head. “Can’t we just order pizza?”

“Neil,” Nicky deadpans. “Can you spice things up a little? It’s your twenty first for god’s sake. How about we at least go to Eden’s? I bet Roland will give you drinks on the house.”

“So that’s a no to the pizza? How about Chinese then?”

Nicky throws his hands up, frustrated and annoyed. He leaves the room and Neil lets him go without argument. Kevin watches, bored and unenthused. Neil flops onto the sofa to review a couple of highlights from the game last night and Andrew ends their session with a shake of his head and a pointed glare at Kevin.

“Not today, junkies.”

Neil raises his hands in surrender and Kevin just rolls his eyes. 

“And you are not just having take out tonight. We’re going to Sweetie’s.”

“If you say so,” Neil sighs.

“I do.”

Neil smirks, but doesn’t say anything else. That settles it then. 

~

Andrew convinced Neil that they might as well stop at Eden’s for a celebratory round. Instead of Andrew helping Neil get dressed like they agreed, they take advantage of the locked bathroom. Andrew ends up on the counter with his leg hooked around Neil’s body and they kiss so slowly and warmly it makes Neil ache. They only stop when Kevin pounds on the door to ask if he can get in for a second.

“No,” Andrew answers flatly, voice slightly muffled by Neil’s lips.

Neil hears the click of the door closing and assumes Kevin went next door to another teammate’s room to use their bathroom.

“Can’t we just stay in and do this?”

Andrew shakes his head. “You have no reason not to celebrate anymore,” Andrew reminds him. 

Neil rests his head on Andrew’s and Andrew nudges him up a little for another kiss. They keep each other distracted until another knock on the door forces their attention away from one another.

“I’m getting dressed,” Neil says.

“No, you’re not.”

Neil rolls his eyes at the sound of Kevin’s voice and pulls away from Andrew to actually do what he’s supposed to be doing in here. Andrew votes for an oversized dark grey sweater. It’s a bit stretched around the shoulders and Neil keeps messing with it, nervous it’ll show too much.

Andrew keeps batting Neil’s hands away, telling him it’ll be fine. Neil’s kept his hair long and doesn’t bother to fix it anymore. It’s always a tousled mess and Andrew has said he likes it like that. It’s his fault it always looks so messy anyway, so Neil accepts it and moves on. Neil knocks on the room a few doors down to see if the freshman foxes want to come, but doesn’t get an answer.

They’re just waiting for Nicky now and Andrew takes advantage of the empty room once Neil’s back. As soon as he curls his fingers into Neil’s hair, Neil smiles and shakes his head.

“This is why I always look like such a mess, remember?”

“I like it,” Andrew dismisses. “And you look far from messy tonight.”

Neil raises his eyebrows and he closes his lips around Andrew’s lower one, grabs at Andrew’s waist.

“Let’s go,” Nicky calls from the other side of the door.

“I say when,” Andrew reminds him, leaning in for another kiss.

There’s no hurry, but Andrew carefully draws back. Neil throws his head back, completely opposed to ending this so soon. He could feel how heavy they were getting, too into it, too hungry. He follows Andrew out of the room and rests his chin on his shoulder when they get to the living room.

“Now let’s go,” Andrew says, and leads the group out of the room.

Aaron nods at Neil when they slide into the car. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you,” Neil says.

Neil thinks there will always be an odd tension between them, but it’s lessened with time. Neil stares out the window on the drive down and his life plays like a movie reel in his head. Twenty one. He still can’t believe it. He shakes tension out of his shoulders when the image of that sinister birthday message pops into his thoughts, like he’s physically trying to push it back.

“Andrew?”

“What.”

“I need to go to the house.”

“For what,” he replies flatly, glancing back in the rearview at Aaron.

“I forgot something. It’s Katelyn’s and I told her I’d get it back and since we’re going to be close by anyway,” Aaron trails off with a shrug.

Andrew doesn’t answer, but when they eventually pull off the highway, it’s the first place they go. Aaron hops out of the car and comes back a minute or so later to Neil’s rolled down window. 

“Just come in. It might take me a second.”

“I’ll wait here,” Neil says.

“Just come in,” Andrew echoes. “We’ll pregame.”

Neil eyes him curiously, but follows the group inside. Andrew flicks the lights on and before Neil can even take his next breath, the room erupts in one loud, terrifying “Surprise!”

A startled Neil squeezes Andrew’s hand too tight and presses close, heart pounding in his chest. When reality sets back in, Neil breaks into a shy smile, shakes his head and bumps against Andrew.

“You did this.”

The glint in Andrew’s eyes and his smug expression is enough to knock Neil off his feet, but he holds his ground and gives as subtle a kiss as he can manage to the side of Andrew’s neck.

“Thank you,” he says against Andrew’s skin.

He looks around and feels full. Matt, Dan, Allison, and Renee are all here. New Foxes joined in and the Vixens all hid together in one corner of the room, except for Katelyn who hid near the door to welcome Aaron. It’s not long before Matt and Dan crush Neil into a hug and he squeezes back, happy beyond words to have the old Foxes back.

Allison winks at Neil from over Dan’s shoulder and Renee pulls at him as soon as Dan and Matt let go.

“Happy Birthday,” Renee says with a soft, genuine smile.

Neil barely catches Nicky fussing over why he didn’t know about this. He quickly turns his attention back to his teammates and they find their way to the beer pong table at the same time. They pass by a gift table and Neil frowns when he looks at the card envelopes with his name and Happy Birthday scrawled across them. There are even a couple of gift bags sitting amongst the cards and Neil feels a strange weight settle in his stomach. Guilt, he assumes.

He meets Andrew’s eyes across the room when he looks up from the table and nods at him, an invitation to join the game. Andrew nods back, but before he can take his spot next to Neil, Allison claims it for herself.

“So now you kiss in public? Only took a lifetime.”

Neil gives an exasperated sigh and Dan laughs, shakes her head at Allison. They throw to see who goes first and Dan starts their game, sinks her first shot. Neil noticed Andrew when he sidled up to the table and Neil looks over at him now. He needs to thank Andrew appropriately for all this, but he has no idea how. Nothing would suffice, not a million thank yous or kisses or presents. This is more than Neil could ever ask for. 

“We should make this a tournament,” Matt says as he fixes his solo cups into a diamond. 

Neil shrugs and nods at Allison. “What do you think?”

“Let’s do it.”

Neil and Allison end up playing against Andrew and Aaron after the twins beat Katelyn and Renee, to Neil’s pleasant surprise. He selfishly considers it a birthday present that the twins can stand side by side and not want to kill each other anymore. They’re far from being completely healed, but every day is a step and no matter what happens, Neil just wants the best for them.

Neil feels like he might be swaying by the time Aaron sinks the ball into the last cup across the table. Nicky cheers for his cousins from the side, drunk off something sugary and colorful. Allison pouts like the sore loser she can be and sets the cups up for another round.

“I’m subbing in Nicky.”

“He’s drunk.”

“Kevin?”

Kevin looks up from the couch and doesn’t answer. 

“Would it kill you to have some fun off the court?”

Kevin rolls his eyes, but he stands without question and takes his spot next to Allison. Neil strolls away and finds Andrew in the kitchen whipping up some drinks. Neil looks around and upon confirmation that nobody is paying attention to them, he shoves himself in between Andrew and the counter.

“People are going to start to see through your bad boy charade if you keep this up.”

“It’s not a charade.”

“Right, right, you genuinely are self destructive and loaded with problems,” Neil says, no heat in his words,“but you also have a heart. A very good one if you ask me.”

“I didn’t.”

Neil takes a swig from Andrew’s bottle and Andrew’s eyes open just a bit wider. Neil places it back on the counter and Andrew catches his hand before he can slide it back into his pocket.

“How drunk are you?”

“I wouldn’t say drunk,” Neil says thoughtfully. “A little buzzed maybe.”

“Can you truthfully give me a yes or no?”

“Yes.”

Andrew leans in and guides Neil to bend down just a bit. With his fingers on Neil’s chin and his other hand braced against the counter to keep Neil in place, Andrew asks Neil, “Well?”

“Yes,” Neil says with an emphatic nod.

There’s a strange thrill to kissing the way they are right now where anyone can see. Neil double checked to make sure there were no eyes on them, but if that’s changed, he couldn’t possibly care less. Andrew’s lips are especially soft and Neil can taste whiskey on his breath.

If Neil is drunk on anything, it’s this. Neil’s sure to keep his movements steady even if Andrew is the one making him dizzy and not the alcohol in his system. Neil’s the first to draw away, but his reluctance is clear. Andrew fixes his gaze on Neil’s shoulder and adjusts his sweater to cover him up better for which Neil thanks Andrew with another kiss.

Andrew leaves Neil to go deliver the drinks and Neil takes advantage of the moment alone to relax for a second. He forces the smile off his face with his palm pressed into his cheek and throws his head back, keeps his eyes closed while he regains his balance. Neil opens his eyes to the sound of footsteps and smiles shyly at Renee, tries to ignore how warm his cheeks feel.

“Are you enjoying your birthday?”

“Yes,” Neil says breathlessly. “I’m lucky to have you guys.”

Renee smiles at that and leans against the counter beside Neil. “Can I say something out of turn?”

Neil’s brows furrow, but he nods.

“You look happy.”

“Is that out of turn to say?”

“The next part is,” Renee answers. “You’ve got this look about you, I think it was always there. I see it in Dan and Matt and I’m almost sure I see it in Katelyn and Aaron, too.”

Neil catches on to where this is going. He lets his head droop and shakes it, keeps his gaze trained on the tile beneath his feet.

“No. I can’t- whatever you’re about to say, just. I can’t.”

“I didn’t mean to fluster you,” Renee explains apologetically. She rests her hand on Neil’s shoulder and squeezes, and Neil sighs, stares off at nothing.

“Even if I did, how would I know?” Neil asks, voice shakey with nerves.

“You think because it’s unfamiliar, it’s impossible.”

Neil fixes Renee with a questioning look, one of wonder and confusion and there’s no way, but what if?

“I think I do,” Neil says quietly, eyes on the floor again.

Renee squeezes his shoulder again and links their arms.

“I know.”

“You haven’t told him,” Neil says, a hopeful wish more than a question.

“No. Don’t you think he might know already?”

“Even if he does, he’s probably convinced himself it’s not true.”

Renee shrugs. “Same as you.”

Neil finally looks at her again and chews his lip. They stand in heavy, yet oddly comfortable silence for a few minutes until Andrew joins them in the kitchen.

“Would you mind mixing me something?” Renee asks.

Andrew gets started without question and her gaze flickers from him to Neil. She grabs her drink with a thank you and with one more look over her shoulder, she joins Allison, Dan, and one of the new recruits in the living room.

Neil stares out at the crowded rooms in front of him and Andrew turns Neil to face him with guiding fingers on his chin.

“You’re thinking. That’s never good.”

Neil shrugs. “It’s just crazy. I never thought I’d have this, I couldn’t even imagine something like this.”

“Don’t sound so impressed. It’s just a house party.”

“It’s more than I ever had and way more than I deserve.”

Andrew’s grip tightens just slightly and his expression hardens. “None of these people were forced to be here. If you didn’t deserve this, I would not have asked and they would not have come.”

Neil keeps his stare focused on Andrew even after Andrew lets him go. They rejoin the party together and Neil feels butterflies batting around in his stomach when Andrew presses close to him where they stand tucked into a corner near the pong table. A few curious looks get thrown their way, but everyone knows better than to comment. Allison, too careless to know better or worse, makes her way over.

“Don’t say anything stupid,” Neil warns.

“No promises.”

Neil actually smiles at that and Allison passes him a drink.

“To you,” she manages to say without slurring. “Twenty one and in-”

Her gaze flickers over to Renee who loudly clears her throat. Neil looks back and forth between them to see Renee shake her head and give Allison a steady, warning look. Allison just smiles and raises her cup, bumps it against Neil’s before she drinks it easily like it’s water.

She settles onto the sofa next to Renee and they talk quietly, eyes flickering to Neil just for a beat, but Neil catches it. He brushes it off for now and nods along to the music that someone just turned up. A couple of attendees decided the kitchen would make a suitable dancefloor and Neil watches happily as the party rides on. Andrew delegates drink mixing to Nicky for a little while to stay with Neil and Neil wishes Andrew would whisk him away to the bedroom for the rest of the night. He almost asks if they can break away for a second, but notices when he surveys the room that Aaron and Katelyn are missing and are probably doing exactly what Neil wishes he and Andrew were doing right now. 

There’s a game of King’s taking up the floor in the living room and Dan and Matt are too busy ogling each other to do or care about much of anything else. Neil thoroughly observes his surroundings and when he’s satisfied, he turns halfway, shifts so he can see Andrew better. Maybe Andrew senses it or maybe he’s just as desperate as Neil is, but one way or another he knows exactly what Neil wants.

“Yes or no?”

“Yes, of course,” Neil says. “Always yes, remember?”

Andrew shuts him up with an open mouthed kiss that leaves Neil breathless after hardly a few seconds. Neil forgets about everyone in the room, about what Renee wanted to say, what Allison almost did. There is nothing and nobody but Andrew.

“What about you?” Neil breaks them apart to say. “Is this a yes for you?”

“Yes.”

Andrew closes the gap between their lips again and Neil feels a burn in his throat, a lump that’s hard to swallow. This is an entirely new level for them, after all. There’s an unspoken comfort and acceptance, a carelessness for what anyone else might say or think and Neil may not say it, but the thought races through his mind. Renee’s absolutely right.

Neil draws away gently and Andrew gives him one more kiss as a parting gift before he goes to the kitchen. As soon as Andrew leaves, Allison swarms Neil and pulls him onto the couch with her. Neil tries to get up, but Allison pushes him back down with a firm hand on his shoulder. She calls for Renee who takes the seat on Neil’s opposite side and he looks back and forth between the two of them.

“Do you think I didn’t see all that?”

“Before you continue, do you know if anyone else did?”

“Not that I noticed,” Renee chimes in.

Neil silently thanks his lucky stars for Renee. Allison commands his attention with a snap of her fingers and Neil cocks an eyebrow at her.

“Is he a good kisser?”

“Allison,” Renee scolds.

“Fair game,” Allison argues.

“You’ll never know,” Neil says.

Renee smiles at that and Allison sucks her teeth.

“Give me something,” Allison demands.

“You saw us, how is that not enough?”

“Anyone could have seen you,” Allison refutes. “I want details, the goods,” she explains, drink sloshing around in her cup.

“She’s rooting for you guys,” Renee defends under her breath.

Neil forces his shoulder to relax. “I didn’t think she wasn’t, but she’s still a pain in the ass,” Neil says, loudly enough for both of them to hear.

Renee can’t hide her amusement at that and Allison shoves lightly at Neil’s shoulder. Renee changes the subject to Neil’s relief and Dan pops seemingly out of nowhere with a camera in hand. She snaps a photo before anyone notices and then grabs one of the freshman to take a group photo of them.

“I don’t like pictures,” Neil argues.

“You do today.”

Andrew appears in the entryway and Neil shakes his head. Andrew stays in place though and Neil shrugs and gives in.

“Will you get in one?” he directs at Andrew.

“No.”

“It’s a team photo,” Renee says. “Just the one.”

Andrew’s stare remains uninterested, but he joins them by the couch. He stands behind it and leans down to drape his arms over Neil. Aaron, finally back in the swing of things, shifts so Kevin can stand beside Andrew. Nicky in his drunken state, throws himself across the laps on the couch to Katelyn’s delight, laughs brightly when Allison tries to shove him off. Matt makes room for himself on the arm next to Dan and it takes a few tries, but they get the pictures done eventually.

Dan sets up a few more with the new Foxes, some of just her and her girls. She somehow manages to get the twins in their own photo, though they don’t smile. Neil catches Dan’s attention with a careful hand on her arm and she flashes him a smile.

“What’s up, babe?”

“Do you think you can get a photo of me and Andrew?” Neil asks hesitantly. 

“I thought you didn’t like photos,” Dan teases. “I already did.”

“When?”

“Not of you guys kissing,” Dan says.

Neil blanches a little. “You saw?”

“Allison told me. I caught you right before that, actually.”

Neil nods and thanks her, but she isn’t finished. “Go get him.”

Neil abides and seeks out Andrew. They return to the living room and Neil leans in to Andrew.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to.”

Andrew silently looks from Neil to the camera in Dan’s hand. He shifts them around a bit and Neil is amused by how much this seems to matter since he didn’t expect it to matter at all. Andrew finally comes to a standstill, apparently satisfied with their pose and Dan sniffs when she takes the picture.

“I’m done here,” Andrew says and Neil watches him go.

“I think I’m just- I’m a little drunk and you guys are so cute-”

Matt pulls her in and Neil thanks him, moves passed them to find Andrew. He’s switching up music when Neil finds him and Neil wraps his arms around Andrew from behind.

“Drinks?”

Andrew nods and leads Neil to the kitchen. They take a shot together and dig out some more alcohol for the rest of the crew from the fridge, not before they make out against the refrigerator door. The party goes on late into the night and it is Neil’s twenty first and the rules are get sloshed. It takes a bit of encouragement and promises to not let him get too out of hand before he follows the rule blindly. The last thing he remembers seeing before he falls asleep is the sun in Andrew’s eyes.

~

There’s nothing but darkness and then too bright sun in Neil’s eyes. He wakes up too fast and gets a little dizzy, but he just rolls over so that his face is towards the inside of the couch. He stays awake, but keeps his eyes closed and runs through the night and into the morning in his head.

He distinctly remembers Waffle House and nearly getting kicked out of it. Neil also remembers Andrew’s eyes practically glowing with the light from the sun shining into them. He rolls back over and pushes himself off the couch, stretches sore limbs. He steadies himself with a hand on the couch when he feels dizzy and finds Andrew in the kitchen cleaning up some of the remains from last night.

Neil joins without question and fixes up in the living room, replaces a cushion he didn’t realize he’d dropped on the floor. Andrew corners him in the living room and pushes him down onto the couch. Neil welcomes it, but pauses before Andrew can kiss him.

“I just- I don’t think I can subject anyone to my breath right now.”

“You’re probably right.”

Andrew climbs off him and Neil kisses his cheek before he jogs to the bathroom. His head hurts bad enough and every rushed motion leaves him dizzy, but he’s sure his hangover could be much worse. He rushes to join Andrew downstairs and they don’t waste a second, pick up right where they left off.

“How bad did I get last night?”

“How much do you remember?”

“Most of it, I think,” Neil answers between one kiss and another.

“Then it couldn’t have been too bad, could it?”

Neil lets Andrew shut him up with another kiss. Andrew kisses Neil’s skin where his sweater loosens around his shoulder and Andrew freezes when his mouth almost brushes scarred skin.

“Yes or no?”

Neil hesitates and tries to swallow down his nervousness, knowing exactly where Andrew’s kiss almost touched.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“So why did you ask?” Neil asks, clearly exasperated.

“You hesitated.”

Neil guides Andrew to look at him with a gentle hand and holds either side of his neck.

“Not cause I don’t trust you,” Neil explains. “It’s just scary, but I meant my yes.”

Andrew thinks about that for a second and draws a map with his mouth from Neil’s lips to his shoulder. He pulls the fabric back just a little and brushes his lips so softly over Neil’s skin, it feels like the touch of a warm breeze. Neil shivers when Andrew repeats the motion and sighs when he finds his way back. Andrew won’t go where Neil’s too scared to and Neil’s always abided by the same rule.

“Want to refresh my memory?” Neil asks, mostly to take his mind off wishing he wasn’t so scared of his own skin.

“Not particularly,” Andrew says into Neil’s neck.

“C’mon,” Neil tries.

Andrew picks his head up and doesn’t say anything, but stares expectantly at Neil.

“Did we almost get kicked out of Waffle House?”

Neil lets his head fall back and Andrew takes the opportunity to kiss Neil’s exposed neck, his chin and jaw and anywhere else he feels fit.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You and Allison wouldn’t get off the table.”

Neil shifts and Andrew meets his wide eyed stare.

“No way.”

Andrew quirks an eyebrow at Neil and Neil just stares back blankly. He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back again and he can barely conjure it up, but Neil can taste waffles and hear music if he thinks about it hard enough.

“That’s… something.”

“Yes, it was,” Andrew agrees.

Neil groans, embarrassed and annoyed at himself, and Andrew presses another kiss to the base of Neil’s neck. Neil tilts his head when Andrew gives him a suggestive nudge and Andrew mouths at Neil’s neck, nips his skin gently.

“Did I fall asleep as soon as we got back?”

“Just about. It was already light out. You said your good nights and goodbyes and almost fell asleep hugging Dan.”

Neil shakes his head and tries to remember any other gaps. Everything else seems pretty clear. He hates struggling to remember and is angry with himself for drinking enough to put his head in such a state.

“Where did you sleep?” Neil asks, remembering his view early this morning.

Andrew sits up a little and nods towards the floor. “I didn’t want you to wake up alone in case you were hungover.”

Neil brings Andrew back for a kiss and Andrew lays his hand atop Neil’s where it rests against Andrew’s cheek, twines their fingers together. They let themselves get carried away, kiss till their lips are bitten red and their hair is all messed up. The sound of footsteps eventually pulls them apart and Neil sneaks a couple of last kisses before Andrew climbs off him and settles next to him on the couch.

Once everyone is awake and the house is straightened up, they head out. Neil carries out his cards and gifts in a bag and stops Andrew before he climbs into the driver’s seat.

“Thank you for last night. I still don’t even know what to say, I just- thanks.”

Andrew doesn’t say a word. He gets them back to campus and with some last well wishes, the Foxes part ways to freshen up and finish assignments. Neil’s happy to be back in a hoodie after his shower and settles in to go through his cards. He still can’t believe this is his reality and he reads over them more than once, sweeps his fingers over them like he’s making sure they’re real.

Andrew comes out of the bathroom and watches from the doorway as Neil opens another card and flips it over in his hand. Neil glances up at him, but doesn’t say anything. He opens the gift bags and shakes his head at Allison’s gift. It’s not that he’s so surprised at her thoughtfulness- though he is, just a little- it’s that he knows how much money she has and knows this watch was probably ridiculously expensive. Neil shakes his head at the thought and moves on to the rest of the cards and the gift bag from Nicky that holds a grey sweatshirt and a pair of pajama pants.

Neil looks up when he notices Andrew’s movement and watches Andrew dig through his drawers. Neil tries to keep his expression neutral when Andrew joins him on the couch with a small package in hand.

“Happy Birthday.”

“I thought your gift was the party,” Neil says.

“Open it.”

Neil tears the paper off and reveals a little black velvet box. He looks from the gift to Andrew and then back and opens the box with a dull click. Neil’s jaw falls open and he stares at the silver necklace, speaks through the lump in his throat.

“Andrew.”

He doesn’t say anything even when Neil stares at him. Neil looks back to the chain inside and the two charms that hang off it, a sparkling number ten and a fox paw. Neil runs a careful finger over the cool silver and Andrew gently pushes his hand aside to remove the necklace himself. He nods his head, a gesture for Neil to turn a little and Neil obeys, swallows hard and tries to ignore his racing heart. He feels a slight chill when the chain touches his skin and instinctively touches the charms where they now rest just below the hollow of his neck. 

Andrew kisses Neil’s neck just above the necklace clasp, brushes his nose softly against Neil’s hairline and Neil bows his head, holds the charm in between the tips of his fingers.

“Andrew,” Neil repeats, still struggling to find words. “I-”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

Neil shakes his head and lets the charm fall back against his skin. He shifts so he and Andrew are face to face, but doesn’t look at him right away. Neil thinks back to the day Nicky delivered clothes in a gift bag from Andrew, the first gift he’d ever gotten. He looks up when Andrew tugs at his sweatshirt to get his attention.

“I’m never taking it off,” Neil says when their eyes meet, hoping it’s enough and feeling like nothing will ever be.

“Better not,” Andrew says.

Neil fidgets with the necklace and keeps his eyes trained on Andrew. His hair’s soaked from his shower and it flops over his forehead, long enough that the strands nearly cover his eyes. He looks smaller than he is wearing one of Neil’s sweatshirts, bands poking out from the sleeves when he moves his arms a certain way. Neil commits every detail of this Andrew- his Andrew in his clothes- to memory, a habit he doesn’t plan to break any time soon. Neil wishes he could say the words that threaten to spill out, the words that knock around his head so often his heart aches.

Neil forces the thoughts to the back of his head when Andrew leans forward to kiss him softly. With every kiss, every stolen breath, Neil feels the weight of the charm on his neck grow stronger like it’s going to burn right through his skin and bury itself in his heart.

A knock on the door interrupts them. Andrew ignores it initially and Neil is happy to play along, but another knocks sets Andrew off.

“What.”

“I like you better when Neil’s around.”

“Neil _is_ around,” Andrew corrects. “But so are you.”

Dan rolls her eyes and peers over Andrew’s shoulder. Neil is in the middle of adjusting his clothes and Dan’s lips turn up.

“Noted,” she says to Neil, eyebrows raised. “I wanted to give you these,” she says, stepping passed Andrew to hand an envelope to Neil. “It’s the photos from last night.”

“That was fast.”

“I want to put some up in my room, in the locker room, too,” she explains.

“Thank you.”

“This has been great! Go back to your room.”

“Touchy. Better get back to it, Neil, he’s getting angry.”

“I’ll see you later, Dan,” Neil says with a drawn out sigh. 

Andrew closes the door behind her and locks it. He settles on the couch and rests his head on Neil’s thigh while Neil pulls the stack of printed photos out of the envelope. 

The first one is a group photo, the entire party squeezed on and around the couch, with Neil dead center. Neil spends extra time looking at the ones he isn’t in, photos of Matt and Dan being obnoxiously, blissfully in love; a couple of the freshman foxes, one of just the girls. Neil passes a photo of Aaron and Katelyn he reminds himself to give to Aaron next time he sees him.

“I could make a scrapbook,” Neil says, in awe at the amount of photos Dan took on her disposable camera.

Neil favors a candid shot Dan took of them playing beer pong. Andrew and Neil are standing closer than necessary considering they are supposed to be playing against each other and Allison’s hand is in the air about to take her turn. Andrew peers at each one with vague interest and Neil only moves to the next photo when Andrew averts his eyes. Neil’s lips turn up in a smile when he lays eyes on the next photo. It’s the shot of the original nine-member team, with Nicky sprawled across the couch on top of the other foxes.

“This one should go up in the locker room.”

Andrew takes it from Neil’s hands and nods, puts it aside so they don’t forget. Andrew shifts to get more comfortable, but freezes before he settles down. He stares at the photo in Neil’s hand and Neil stares at it just the same, though his expression is a little softer.

It’s the photo of two of them, looking so close and cozy they could almost compete with Matt and Dan. Neil is standing behind Andrew, arms over his shoulders and Andrew’s hands are wrapped securely around Neil’s wrists, holding him in place. Neil’s cheek rests against Andrew’s hair on the side of his head and they’re both looking into the camera, a twinkle in their eyes Neil only sees now. Neil’s lips are just a bit pursed and turned up in the slightest hint of a smile and Andrew’s expression is unreadable, but there’s a cockiness in the way he tilts his chin and stares directly into the camera.

The photo stirs something in Neil he can’t quite place, but whatever it is gives him butterflies and makes heat spread through him in a wave.

Neil swallows hard when he looks at the photo again, takes in the details. If Neil said he never thought much about Andrew’s looks, he’d be lying. He brushes passed that when he remembers how carefully Andrew positioned them for the photo, took time and care in making sure they got it right. He’s very aware of the affection the picture displays, how the two of them look very much like a this.

“Do you like this one?”

Andrew takes it from Neil’s fingers carefully and stares intently at the photo. Neil watches him and waits, looks from Andrew to the picture. 

“It feels so real.”

“What do you mean?”

Andrew’s gaze remains strong and steady, like he’s waiting for the picture to do or say something. Neil waits patiently for an answer and meets Andrew’s eyes when he picks his head up from Neil’s lap and straightens in front of him.

“Sometimes I still think this can’t be true,” Andrew admits. “But this is real, you’re real, and you really do get this fucking look in your eye.”

Neil’s brows furrow, bemused at that answer, and Andrew huffs as he climbs off the couch to light a cigarette. Neil’s stare follows Andrew as he paces by the window and then joins Neil back on the couch with a thud after he puts out the newly lit cigarette.

“Look at me,” Andrew commands, taking Neil’s chin in between his fingers.

“Everything you have is real,” Neil says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Andrew doesn’t answer, keeps Neil’s chin tilted towards him. Neil doesn’t fight Andrew’s grip, just lets him look his fill, waits for whatever comes next. When nothing does, Neil holds the photo up. 

“You never told me if you liked the picture.”

Andrew strokes his hand across the photo, lightly enough not to leave fingerprints or smudges.

“I do.”

Neil squeezes Andrew’s hand and Andrew looks up. His eyes give away a lot these days. They are nearly two years into this after all and even though Andrew remains cold as stone to most, he’s different with Neil, softer, more honest and vulnerable.

“I want to ask a truth.”

“So go ahead,” Neil answers. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Then ask when you are. It’s not like I’m going anywhere, remember? You’re stuck with me.”

Andrew nods and pushes at Neil till he’s reclined against the couch. They take it easy for a while, but the space between them lessens little by little and their kisses become more eager, drawn out. Andrew welcomes it when Neil breaks them apart to take this to their bed in case anyone walks in. Neil has suggested putting a sock on the door like he’s seen time and time again, but Andrew figured that might lead to too many questions so they settle for hope and a locked door. Andrew pulls Neil by his sweatshirt strings as soon as he’s within reach and Neil lets himself fall forward.

“Hey.”

Andrew pushes Neil down into the bed and Neil quirks an eyebrow, more than pleased when Andrew straddles him. Andrew leans down to kiss Neil’s chest and slides his hands underneath Neil’s shirt, smooths over Neil’s abdomen and rests them on his chest.

“Hey,” Andrew finally says, lips close to Neil’s.

Neil leans up slightly to press their mouths together and Andrew gives into Neil without hesitation. They kiss lazily, movements as slow and tired as they feel, and goosebumps prickle over Neil’s skin, warmed by Andrew’s hands. Andrew kisses Neil in a way that makes Neil forget about all but this moment and Neil craves it, wouldn’t mind if this lasted forever. He nearly tells Andrew as much, but doesn’t want to scare him so he bites the words back when he nips Andrew’s jaw, lets his mouth linger for a beat.

Andrew carefully guides Neil to tilt his head to one side and mouths at his neck till a small red spot blooms on Neil’s skin. Neil lets Andrew do as he pleases, kiss his neck and chest, pull at the hem of his shirt to whisper kisses below his navel. Andrew uses his nose to nudge the fabric higher and glances up when Neil tenses.

“Yes or no?”

“Yes.”

Andrew thumbs at Neil’s wrist to check his pulse and Neil’s sure it’s pounding away. His nerves are sparked and as much as he wants this, he can’t help the part of him that doesn’t want Andrew to touch or look at his skin even though he’s done both before. Neil can hardly stand to look at it himself and remains repulsed by the reminders of who he is and the life he’s led.

Neil’s toes curl when he feels Andrew’s tongue dip out along his mangled skin. Andrew parts his lips and closes them, presses gentle, wet kisses along Neil’s abdomen and carefully works his way up. Neil feels weak underneath Andrew’s touch, like he belongs more to Andrew than he does to himself. He guesses that’s true anyway.

Andrew pushes Neil’s shirt up further and kisses mangled skin, traces scars left by knives with his tongue, mouths at a discolored patch. Neil’s chest contracts with a deep breath and Andrew sits up, rests his hand on Neil’s stomach.

“You can’t change them,” Andrew reminds him.

“I know.”

“You will have them forever and hate them just as long, but they are yours to keep. It’s about time you sucked it up.”

Tough love. Typical, though Andrew would never use that particular word choice.

“I know,” Neill repeats, this time with an exasperated sigh. “It’s just hard.”

“Nothing is easy.”

Neil starts to move so Andrew shifts his weight a little. Neil sits up a bit to remove his shirt and feels his skin go hot, repulsion and vulnerability and fear burning through his veins all at once in a rush that makes him dizzy.

Andrew’s gaze is unwavering. “These aren’t what you are to me.”

Neil nods, fights the urge to cover himself up.

“These aren’t who you are at all,” Andrew adds. “You were never just your scars and you aren’t now.”

Andrew leans down and kisses Neil in the center of his chest.

“You won,” Andrew tells him, breath fanning over Neil’s skin.

“So did you,” Neil reminds Andrew, linking their fingers together. 

Andrew’s eyes don’t give anything away, but he dips down to kiss Neil on the mouth. Neil holds him in place, not quite ready to let go, but Andrew pulls away as gently as he can to kiss Neil everywhere else. Neil’s pulse is still too quick as he’s still on edge, but he thaws kiss by kiss. Andrew takes Neil apart and every kiss feels like balm on Neil’s wounds.

Andrew works his way up from Neil’s chest and licks a stripe down the column of Neil’s neck. Andrew’s hand is splayed on Neil’s chest and he rubs up to Neil’s neck, lines his thumb up with the hollow of Neil’s throat. Neil lets Andrew guide his arms up and hold his wrists together.

“Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Neil breathes.

Andrew’s grip on his wrist tightens and Andrew ducks his head to kiss Neil, lets their lips catch and release. Neil’s not expecting it when Andrew’s hips grind forward and he hisses at the friction, mouth falling open involuntarily.

“Yes or no?” Andrew repeats, voice thick.

Neil gives an emphatic nod. “Yeah, yes.”

Andrew repeats the motion and Neil’s fingers curl, press hard into his palms. Andrew’s careful, experimental movements drive Neil wild and he bites his lip hard enough to almost draw blood when Andrew pushes against him again. When Neil gasps, their lips catch and that alone nearly sends Neil over the edge, the softness of it, the sheer obscenity of Andrew’s name being breathed into his own mouth.

Fire burns in Neil’s gut and he breathes heat against Andrew’s mouth, jerks his hips against his will. Their mouths connect and Andrew releases Neil’s wrists, but Neil doesn’t try to touch, he doesn’t want to ruin this. Instead he succumbs to Andrew’s slow, warm kisses, sighs when Andrew trails his lips lower and nips gently at his skin. On his way down, Andrew flicks his tongue out over Neil’s nipple. Neil’s eyes go round. This is new territory for the both of them and Neil feels butterflies in his stomach and an ache between his legs and _more, I want more_. Andrew glances up at Neil when he closes his mouth around it, just for a second as he drags his teeth over. Neil throws his head back against the bed and scrubs his hand over his face, quakes with how good it feels.

There isn’t much time to gather himself before he feels Andrew’s mouth at his hips and his sweats being pulled down. Neil curses and fails to catch his breath, keeps one arm stretched across his face to cover his mouth. His other hand curls into the blankets, nearly tears through them when Andrew takes Neil in his mouth in one smooth motion. Neil’s heart beats too fast and his skin gets too hot and he sees spots when Andrew does that thing with his tongue.

Neil lets go and comes undone, fills Andrew’s mouth with a broken breath. He arches off the mattress with the force of it and falls back against it gasping for air. Andrew is in no hurry apparently, content to map Neil’s weak spots with his lips.

“Drew,” Neil calls breathlessly.

Andrew’s gaze flickers to Neil’s eyes and he blinks slowly, mouth against Neil’s thigh. Andrew ignores Neil’s desperation and takes his sweet time. The taste of Neil lingers on Andrew’s mouth when they finally kiss again, but Neil doesn’t care, not in the least. He opens his mouth to Andrew without question, lets Andrew kiss him dizzy and finally holds him again, hands pressed to either side of Andrew’s neck. Neil’s eyes flicker from side to side, searching Andrew’s gaze and taking in the view of him at the same time. Their lips meet again and Andrew’s fingers curl into the mattress where his hand rests beside Neil’s head.

Andrew studies Neil and Neil feels himself go red under the intensity of Andrew’s stare. He simply blinks and there’s a smile in his eyes, but not on his face. 

“You’re a mess,” Andrew comments, but not maliciously.

If anything, he actually sounds satisfied. Neil eyes him curiously and doesn’t understand till Andrew grabs a handful of Neil’s hair and messes it up a little. Neil imagines he looks completely disheveled, but he’s happy to be a mess as long as it’s Andrew’s doing.


End file.
